Hi friends -

I’m not gonna lie — I’m so happy it’s March.

Even though I live in Tennessee, a place with a relatively mild climate, I still get excited as we inch toward warmer, longer days.

In the same way that Fall and Winter encourage me to slow down, Spring helps me feel invigorated and excited.

This time of year often helps me weed out things that no longer serve me in preparation for new growth.

Literally and figuratively, it’s a time of evaluation, planning, and planting.

The past 12 months have been quite a season of change for me.

As many of you already know, I left a 17-year marriage, moved to a new city, and began living alone for the first time ever.

This last year, moments of excitement, happiness, and hope have been interwoven with moments of anger, sadness, and fear.

It’s true of any new beginning, isn’t it? That it is predicated by an ending and, often, includes a season of grief and loss.

Those of us who came of age in the 1990s will likely remember the words of the song “Closing Time,” which taught us that “every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”

The song certainly makes it sound pretty binary - as if there is an abrupt ending, a new beginning, but not much in between.

However, this has been far from my experience.

Instead, it’s been a steady and slow trudge toward healing. I find myself letting go of a painful wound or old pattern, then picking it back up, then setting it down again… and then picking it back up again.

I came across a quote from best-selling author Yung Pueblo the other day that aptly conveys my experience…

This quote has been circulating in my mind for several weeks now.

Previously, I would judge myself for not moving faster in my healing. I would say, “Rachel, you gotta let this go. You are too angry, and it’s eating you up inside.”

But since reading Yung’s wise words, I’ve tried to be a bit more gentle with myself.

When the pain creeps back up, I say to myself, “Rachel, this is an opportunity to let another little piece of your anger go. You’re not fully healed yet - and that’s ok. But let’s let a little bit more go.”

I’ve begun to apply this same concept to minor interactions as well.

I’m sure I’m not alone in my tendency to ruminate excessively—both when I am in the wrong or when I feel someone has wronged me.

If I get cut off in traffic, hurt a friend’s feelings, or misread someone’s intention, I tend to dwell on the situation, which typically only causes more stress.

Instead, I practice noticing the uncomfortable feeling, validating it, and then trying to release it.

It often takes a few tries, but being mindful of my inner dialogue significantly helps.

Perhaps you can relate.

Are there things you’ve let go of a hundred times?

Maybe it provides you with some comfort to know that this is normal. This is human.

Let yourself heal at whatever pace is right for you.

Let it go a hundred times. And know that healing is happening as you do so.

Warmly,

Rachel

Rachel Ledbetter, LMFT
CEO/Co-Founder, Motivo
rachel@motivohealth.com